wonder

i am really wondering something..
it was on my mind at 4:30 this morning
i woke up and went for a walk
the very cold air made me wonder even more,
and the more i walked,
the more intriguing it became..
..if Jesus said and did certain things,
then why don't I do and say those things,
why isn't being like Him my greatest passion?...
anyway,
i mean,
i pray, study the scripture, receive Him in the Eucharist,
go to reconciliation,  pray the rosary...
but there is something deep within me not 100% His,
there are places i hold back,
even without realizing i am doing so..
this wondering makes one thing very clear,,
i have a dang long way to go..
Mercy!

wkm
Nashville